He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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