he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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