There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
