I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Someone came in the potted fern
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
