I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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