I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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