He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
