They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
