never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
