I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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