May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
