What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
