I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
