im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
