you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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