You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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