I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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