you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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