So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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