no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My life is pants optional.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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