3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
