i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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