Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
