Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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