My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
