addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
