Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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