Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
