I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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