Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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