Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

...yea

(614): View more from Ohio

She's valid.

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(614): So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence? (1-614): ...yea (614): She's valid. http://tfl.nu/5j37

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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(248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g

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(614): View more from Ohio

she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style

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(614): she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style http://tfl.nu/squ6

Replies (23) Good night (6943) Bad night (1512)
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(949): View more from California

went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.

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(949): went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off. http://tfl.nu/go0t

Replies (23) Good night (5814) Bad night (811)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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(610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs

Replies (30) Good night (6536) Bad night (1205)
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(512): View more from Texas

I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.

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(512): I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect. http://tfl.nu/coze

Replies (4) Good night (2559) Bad night (1158)
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(325): View more from Texas

I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

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(325): I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/ow44

Replies (4) Good night (2187) Bad night (790)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.

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(303): I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/b02w

Replies (10) Good night (1188) Bad night (863)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.

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(216): I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/d2mk

Replies (11) Good night (953) Bad night (3475)
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(646): View more from New York

How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.

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(646): How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope. http://tfl.nu/0uer

Replies (2) Good night (1446) Bad night (630)
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(850): View more from Florida

Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?

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(850): Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans? http://tfl.nu/94rr

Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (630)
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(425): View more from Washington

I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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(425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv

Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (388)
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(650): View more from California

I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

(831): View more from California

I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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(650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u

Replies (4) Good night (1621) Bad night (533)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Was it a good conversation?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was an awkward, sexual conversation.

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(405): It was like we had a conversation with our eyes. (1-405): Was it a good conversation? (405): It was an awkward, sexual conversation. http://tfl.nu/99u8

Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (329)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.

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(717): She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was. http://tfl.nu/q26q

Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (134)

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