Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.

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(765): View more from Indiana

We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69

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(702): View more from Nevada

I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore

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(719): View more from Colorado

Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.

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