Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune. http://tfl.nu/4goo
  Replies (9) Good night (1233) Bad night (2761)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt? http://tfl.nu/7oa6
  Replies (97) Good night (682) Bad night (4163)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line. http://tfl.nu/63gr
  Replies (10) Good night (705) Bad night (3539)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year http://tfl.nu/juhc
  Replies (45) Good night (4861) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/owra
  Replies (25) Good night (601) Bad night (3470)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned? http://tfl.nu/1jvr
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage" http://tfl.nu/fr69
  Replies (17) Good night (8975) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

  (917): View more from New York City

  that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1587) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel? http://tfl.nu/uv9o
  Replies (7) Good night (544) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew? http://tfl.nu/9nvu
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you. http://tfl.nu/fy7x
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/tykz
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke. http://tfl.nu/9t6d
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (234)

Randomize