I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Your cock deserves a montage
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
