someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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