More tranny stories later!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
