so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
