I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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