Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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