the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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