he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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