I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
