that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
