He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
