I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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