I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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