this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
