You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
