He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Vodka?
Forever.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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