Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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