You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize