I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
