Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize