Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
