he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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