Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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