I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
