So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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