I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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