ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
