In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
