Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
